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Writer's pictureAJ Hardingson

MixedRace Mama: Home-from-home series

In October 2022 I was a guest writer for MixedRace Mama as part of their home-from-home series. I contributed 4 posts (published on Instagram) reflecting on being a member of Burmese diaspora, the connections I find between my different cultures, and the specificity of a third generation mixed-race experience.


Introduction

Hi, my name is Amy and I’m really excited to be writing a few posts for the MixedRace Mama community.

I introduce my ethnicity to most people by telling them that nearly all of my great grandparents came from different countries. I have ancestry from England, Scotland, France, Luxembourg, South Africa, India & Burma (Myanmar). My whole family has lived in the UK since the 1950s (various family migrations were all triggered by WW2 and Post-WW2 shake ups). This has led to me having a really nuanced mixed-race experience with some extra imposter syndrome thrown in for good measure (or so it often feels to me).

I get asked about my ethnicity fairly frequently. I may only have one Asian grandparent, but both my Mum and I take after my grandad’s side of the family, and I was taught from an early age that the best way to deal with people asking me where I was from was to talk about Burma – the country where my Grandad was born.

There are a few things that unite people of British Burmese diaspora. Firstly, we’ve probably all lost count of the number of times we’ve had to explain the existence of the country to other Brits. Secondly, many of us have complicated relationships to our Burmese identity due to trauma in our family’s past (my own family have always been reluctant to tell their stories). Plus, for those of us born in the UK it can be difficult to access information about Burmese history or culture outside of our relatives, and it’s not an easy country to visit. However, in spite of all of the above, many of us end up becoming advocates for the too-little-known Burmese people, land and culture in all its beauty and complexity. And we do our best to follow and uplift important news, especially when Myanmar politics takes another dark turn.

Little surprise then, that when I was asked what I’d like to contribute that I had to do my best to write a short introduction to Burma/Myanmar which I hope will whet your appetite to find out more.

I’ve never visited Myanmar, but the people are still my people. My family are disconnected from our heritage in many ways, but it’s still a home from home.

Burma/Myanmar

Myanmar (aka Burma) is a country in SE Asia which is bordered by India, China, Thailand, Bangladesh & Laos. It is the largest country in mainland SE Asia, and has been shaped by its position next to its two powerful neighbours of India & China, as well as its colonisation by Britain. However, Myanmar also has an incredibly rich culture unique to the country with 135 major ethnic groups, and over 100 native languages spoken – many of which use the beautiful & distinctive Burmese script.

Around 1000 AD, the Bagan Empire began to unify the lands around the Irrawaddy Delta for the first time, leading to the dominance of the Bamar ethnic group and the introduction of Theravada Buddhism as the state religion. It became custom for rich Burmese to donate land for the building of temples & monastery schools, which led to an extremely literate and well-educated population. Burmese women were prominent in all industries and levels of pre-colonial society – enjoying some of the best rights in the pre-modern world.

Burma was fully colonised by the British by 1885 and was prized for its rubies, teak, & rice production. The colonial capital of Rangoon became synonymous in British literature with exotic orientalist adventure, and yet practically no knowledge of Burma came into British consciousness (sadly remaining until this day).

Since independence in 1947 Burma has had ongoing civil war up to the present day. There have been a succession of military juntas imposing authoritarian rule upon the people, and keeping the country isolated. In 2012 decades-long activism (centring around the house arrest of Aung San Suu Kyi) transformed into tentative moves towards democracy in Myanmar. The last 10 years has seen the Myanmar people growing with hope for their future, and yet all of this was dashed when yet another military coup began in Feb 2021. However, the people are resisting this coup with a grassroots revolution unlike anything seen before. Please take the time to find out #whatshappeninginmyanmar and follow British Burmese accounts like @meemalee to learn about Burmese food, culture and how to support the people’s revolution. There’s so much more that I can’t fit in a single IG caption!


Cultural Connections

One of the things I really enjoy about the Home Away From Home series is the opportunity to think about funny connections between our cultures, and links that we make. I think humans are such natural storytellers that we will always find these pleasing harmonies where we can.

The European side of my heritage I’ve always seen as quite present in our home in various little ways. Both sides of my family have this continental connection, and my parents were always in agreement that Belgian or Swiss chocolate was the best (no cadburys here), that hot chocolate should be made from cocoa and left extremely rich, and that all meals can be improved by adding extra garlic.

We’re a family of terrific cooks, and by the time I was at University I quickly became known as the person who made food for everybody, but also had to warn everyone not to eat it unless you liked garlic! I really enjoyed going overboard and getting the garlic up to the maximum level. Raw garlic put onto crumpets outraged my housemates, and in my head I put it down to my French genes giving me the strong taste for it.

As I’ve touched upon previously, I unfortunately didn’t grow up with a great deal of knowledge about Burmese culture or food. We had a few Burmese family recipes passed down, and we cooked a wide variety of Indo-Chinese inspired meals, but I once asked my Mum what defined Burmese food and she couldn’t really tell me as she didn’t know herself. It was something I was always curious about, and the first time I saw a Burmese cookery book (Mandalay by Mimi Aye), I immediately purchased it. Lo and behold – it turns out that the Burmese are also extremely fond of garlic, featuring it prominently in proportions that I approve of!

Taste for food is a funny old thing. I’ve had a lot of Burmese food now, and it often feels familiar to me even if I’ve not had a dish before. I know it’s not universal or might be my imagination, but it really feels to me as though the liking of particular flavours can be passed down in the blood. At least that story would explain my double obsession with garlic in all forms!


My Third Generation Experience

My childhood was full of conversations about how I looked different. Classmates and teachers liked to comment on my ‘exotic’ appearance and ask where I was from.

I grew up knowing that my Grandad was born in Burma and proud to be Burmese, and yet he was also British to his bones. He was only 6 when he went to live with his new step-father on a farm near Ipswich. He was passionate about finding the best fish & chips. He loved watching M.A.S.H, and following the football. He read the Daily Mail – is there anything more shamefully British?

I remember people at school finding out that my Grandad was Burmese and being terribly disappointed that his name was Eddie. I remember being very confused by the whole encounter.

It felt like I didn’t make sense to other people. My existence baffled people enough for me to be stopped on the street, and their confusion would only grow as I gave them answers. I spent hours staring in the mirror wondering what it was about my face that was so very ‘other’. My appearance seemed to be a failure in my family’s assimilation project – despite decades of flawless English, and 3 generations marrying into white I was still viewed as an outsider.

Equally, I didn’t feel like I had a valid claim to being Asian. I couldn’t tick enough boxes. I wouldn’t pass a test. My family didn’t fit any narrative or stereotype I had come across.

Eventually, I felt I owed it to myself to learn more and to weave my mixed background into an integrated whole that made sense to me. I embarked on family history work, diving deep into the nuances and grief of my family’s journey as members of the Eurasian community in colonial Burma, and learning more in general about the countries and cultures of my ancestors. It was a deeply healing experience. I went from acknowledging that I had Burmese ancestry, to really accepting it, and then fully embracing and celebrating it with pride. The more I connect with the ESEA community the more I see that there are so many ways to be Asian.

The only person who ever wanted to test me because I was mixed, was myself. It’s been a long road but I finally feel like I belong in all of my cultures, and most importantly, in my own skin.

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